Sticks & Stones: The Church & Divorce

Her cheek lay pressed into the cool, dampness of the dirt. Their angry threats and insults were drowned out by the panicked beating of her own heart. She could barely breathe. She squeezed her eyes shut, every muscle tensed, waiting...waiting for the pain...waiting for her own death. Then his voice cut through the angry mob. He spoke with a quiet authority she had never heard before. The jeers, the insults of the crowd were silenced with one statement from this man. The crowd slowly dispersed, one at a time, each wordlessly dropping their stone of condemnation as they turned and walked away..until it was just the two of them. She was alone with Jesus. Then, as he gently lifted her from the dirt, he said the words she would remember for the rest of her life: "Neither do I condemn you, go and sin no more."

Just some random thoughts on a story that is rich with cultural applications and theological implications:

According to Barna Research Group statistics, divorce within the church is just as prevalent as divorce outside the church. The SBC (Southern Baptist Convention) recently garnered favor from the Liberal Left Press for publicly acknowledging their failure to address the pandemic of divorce among its members. Their admission is laudable. However, their response to this hemorraghing of marriages was simply to issue a strongly worded condemnation of divorce.

The last time I checked, condemnation was not high on the list of most effective motivators to stay married. If condemnations were effective, we probably could have wrapped it all up with the Ten Commandments. After 2,000 plus years, I think we can safely infer that condemnation is not the most effective form of mentoring or discipleship.

Perhaps the SBC (and other protestant denominations suffering the same divorce statistics) should start by asking hard questions rather than issuing blanket condemnations. Since statistics also show that two-thirds of the time, divorce is initiated by women, perhaps church leadership should begin by asking women for their insight into this problem. While I realize yet another blanket condemnation, something along the lines of "it all started with Eve" and "this is yet another reason why women shouldn't be allowed in leadership", etc., etc. would perhaps be the easiest response, (and historically, has often been the response) I am holding out hope that the predominantly male church leadership will do more than simply throw a stone of condemnation at the most vulnerable of its members.

Divorce is a tragedy of pandemic proportions that is as contagious inside the church as outside. We can stick our heads in the sand and deny it. We can pick up a stone of condemnation and throw it, or we can stand with Christ and offer compassion, hope and a second chance.